Where I’m At

I just wanted to make sure you guys know that I’m not perfect.  I don’t have it all figured out.  But I’m getting stronger and learning more and APPLYING more every day.  So that’s why I share what I do.  It’s not because I’ve reached the pinnacle.  In reality, no one ever does!  Even that person you follow on IG who you really look up to and who inspires you hasn’t “figured it all out” yet.

I wake up every day unmotivated and kind of irritated, to be honest.  I work through my emotions and thoughts, choose ones on purpose that I know will serve me, and then another emotion comes up and I have to work through that one.  But I know that it’s all good and it’s all part of it.  I don’t fight it anymore.

I took this picture yesterday.  And this picture is living proof that I am not a fitness model.  I’ve had four babies and I have been eating whatever and however I want for YEARS, on and off.  I have used food as a solace when I feel my stress level rise or something crappy happens in my life, and I probably will again.  But I have stopped judging myself for these things and learned to embrace where I’m at now while still imagining a future me.

Not a future me that never feels pain or has hard days.  Just a future me that is willing to feel negative emotions now instead of trying to eat or Netflix or Facebook them away.  Who has goals she reached by coming from love and gratitude, not scarcity or self-hatred.  And it’s been good, you guys.  Really really good.  For the first time in a long time, I feel like I am truly determined and I have my head in the game, because I literally watch my thoughts every day.

The main thing I wanted to accomplish with this post is to let you know that I am real.  I matter.  And so are you and so do you.  And you are so much more than your body.  And you can still take really good care of your body.  But not for the purpose of just looking good, for the purpose of loving yourself good and taking care of yourself.

Lots of scattered thoughts today, but I’m okay with that.  Thanks for being here with me. 🙂

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